Mad Jack Premium Apple Lager: Where’s the Beer?

This flavoured malt liquor from Molson Coors Canada is a bright, caramel-tinged golden colour and yields a small, loose white cap when poured that only lasts for a few seconds. Mad Jack Premium Apple Lager smells almost entirely of sweet apple juice from concentrate and bears little resemblance to anything even approaching any type of lager I’ve ever had.

Mad Jack Premium Apple Lager
This Beverage IS NOT Gluten-Free

The taste of Mad Jack Premium Apple Cider does have a subtle malt character, but it’s quickly buried under an overly sweet, drinking box-like apple flavour. Malic acid enhances the medium-bodied and lightly carbonated beverage’s moderately sour finish and the aftertaste brings forth a chemical tone that seems to dry out your tongue, despite it being coated by a syrupy film.

Guinness Black Lager: Out of Tune

This European dark lager from Guinness & Company (Diageo) in Dublin, Ireland is a dark brown colour reminiscent of cola or root beer and has a small tan head that almost completely burns off within minutes, leaving a very thin film and thick layers of lace. Guinness Black Lager has aromas of roasted grains, fishy lake water and chocolate syrup accented by sweet light malts, mild florals and a strange cardboard-like tone.

Guinness Black Lager
You’re Better Off Blending Your Own Black & Tan

Guinness Black Lager tastes like a poorly blended black and tan, with a dry roasted grain flavour that is at odds with a syrupy lager character that is so sweet it verges on cloying. This lager is surprisingly thin-bodied given its lineage, with mild carbonation and notes of grain and syrup on the tongue. The finish is rather dry with the aftertaste leaving a bitter and dirty flavour in the mouth.

Old Vienna: Daddy Would You Like Some Sausage?

Old Vienna from Molson Coors Canada is a light golden straw colour with a medium-sized and frothy white head that quickly settles as a thin film and collar, leaving small vertical streaks of lace on the glass. This American adjunct lager primarily smells of corn, along with aromas of grape, grasses and grains and a light floral note.

Old Vienna
This Lager is Passable When Cold

The taste of Old Vienna is fairly crisp, but on the sweet side with a distinct corny flavour accented by mild grain and berry notes. This lager is thin-bodied with ample and fine carbonation. There isn’t much life to it, only very mild syrup and grain sensations on the tongue. The finish is quite dry and there is a hint of alcohol flavour in the finish.

Mike’s Authentic Shandy: Sweet Tooth

Mike’s Authentic Shandy from Mike’s Hard Lemonade Company in Chicago, Illinois pours a cloudy pale yellow colour that unsurprisingly looks like diluted lemon juice, with a loose white head that gets retained as a thin cap and leaves sparse lacing. This lemonade and lager mix has a fairly mild, yet overly sweet and syrupy lemon smell. The only hints of lager come from a dirty metallic note and distinct whiff of corn.

Mike's Authentic Shandy
This is Technically Beer

The taste of Mike’s Authentic Shandy is also quite sweet and dominated by what I can best describe as a concentrated, “hypernatural” lemon flavour. This shandy is medium-bodied with lots of fine carbonation, but is extremely syrupy on the tongue and teeth. Some tartness is perceived in the finish, but is swallowed by the sweetness provided by a seemingly unhealthy amount of glucose-fructose that lingers throughout the aftertaste and gets joined by a biting, metallic and chemical-like flavour.

Old Style Pilsner: Kickin’ It Old School

Old Style Pilsner from Molson Coors Canada pours a pale golden colour with a soapy white head that leaves streaks of thick lace and is retained as a thin cap. This German pilsener smells of light, yet earthy toasted grains, honey, apple and it has a mild floral tone that reminds me of lilac as well as a sharp mineral note.

Old Style Pilsner
Go Riders!

The taste of Old Style Pilsner is grainy, grassy and fairly sweet with a tart acidic bite in the finish and an earthy aftertaste that also leaves a mineral-like bitterness on the back of the throat. The lager has a certain creaminess about it, is medium bodied and exudes moderate carbonation.